Darwins Legacy... Pffft

So here I am starting again, in more than one sense. Single again or at least I’m holding out pretty well.

 A friend of mine said I have commitment issues; I think it unfair for her to make assumptions about something I’ve never done. It’s not that I wouldn’t just haven’t, there’s always something that puts me off.

 I only have 3 requirements intelligent, tall and dark, in that order. It has become apparent however, that these three attributes can never conspire to converge onto the same DNA strand. Like there’s some sort of mutation blocker that says “no way pal, you can’t have it all or the rest of us won’t get a look in”.

 What happened to sexual selection? Surely all those millions of women who tolerated, fed and screwed these guys back through time past the Neolithic traversing glaciers and mountain ranges back to the very first australopithecine didn’t do it all in vain? They were ever selecting the hottest specimens, slowly improving, domesticating and moulding the products we have before us today. Makes me wonder if in a few million years guys will have developed a mutation to allow them to grow little rabbit ears on their genitalia, a gift our female descendents will be more than happy to inherit I’m sure.

NOTE TO SELF: investigate the possibility of creating this in a lab environment.

Also men can be far too emotional, all this lack of old fashioned wars to fight, disease and generally tough living has allowed them the luxury of exploring their feelings.  Most of the guys we meet in the pub today would have been thrown off a cliff at birth in ancient Sparta. I don’t see how Leonidas could have defended the Thermopylae pass with 132 guys suffering from man flue, 8 clinically depressed  arsenal fans and a further 160 stock brokers jumping up and down on the spot, yanking at their ties and screaming “I just don’t have time for this.”

            So here’s the experiment. Can I prove my friend wrong and find the perfect guy? I intend to make a concerted effort; I will scour high and low and even break my three attribute rule in order to widen the search. Come with me, it’s going to be all kinds of crazy and a lot of fun. Post comments offer advice and dare me to be outrageous we mustn’t leave any stone unturned.