Severin

Unfortunately for me, I have an uncanny ability to attract a certain type of guy. They are usually of above average intelligence, have successful careers and have often studied or have an interest in military history as a subject. It is under this guise they engage me in conversation.

I cannot count the number of times a really fascinating discussion about Rommel’s Africa campaign has led to me being propositioned by such creatures, but I can say with confidence that I can now spot them coming from so far a distance I could easily beat another woman armed with telescope.

The long and short of it is they want me to treat them badly.

They want me to use them as ashtrays, footstalls and various other pieces of furniture whilst stealing their money, humiliating them at every opportunity and being horrendously unfaithful right under their pathetic little noses.

Easy, you might think but in practice not so.

Human weakness to me is repulsive, I simply can’t bare simpering sycophants or any display of perceived weakness such as emotion. If someone cries in front of me I just have to leave the room, if they get overtly mushy or expose themselves in some way it makes me so uncomfortable I feel physically tense and bolt for the nearest bottle of Jamesons. It’s just too much

Sexual deviant I may be, but there is a natural order to things that should not be re arranged. I like nothing more than an assertive man with a stony expression. Grrrrr.

But these guys want to call me Wanda while I beat their bare and quivering back sides with bizarre objects, such as phone wire, toilet brushes or small animals! You’d be surprised at how many of these there are out there.. What kind of a woman finds that attractive in a male?

Ooooh yes Severin nothing turns me on more than an absolute pansy wearing his mothers clothes, now light my cigarette while I find some cruel and unusual way to make you feel small and helpless.. Blah

They all revere a literary masterpiece called Venus In Furs, the book as I read it is a written warning to men thinking of perusing this particular path to sexual gratification. Our pansy is treated with exactly the amount of contempt by his woman of choice as he deserves before she subsequently abandons him in order to get with a guy who is going to give her a damn good seeing to and so she should.

In truth I really don’t care; if that’s what floats some other girls boat I don’t give a shit. You want to be pummelled with various domestic appliances, well knock yourself out. What pisses me off is your obsession with me! Why me, why do I attract so many of you? Explain the psychology, cause I am missing something fundamental here and I really can’t tolerate any more of you. The more propositions of this kind I receive the more I am actually tempted to do it, to grab one of you scrawny little men by the throat, tie you up to the kitchen units and throw cheaply canned no frills goods (otherwise destined for the next harvest festival) into your face at high velocity.

The comments section would be a great place to place your observations, good day.